Tag: love

Hindsight is 20/20

~ Ariel West ~ Leave a comment

My life has been sort of a whirlwind the past few months, but I have finally reached a surface.

A lot of strange things happen to the human body and mind when undergoing emotional stress. When you’re living through it, you don’t think the things that you’re doing are irrational. You don’t realize how tightly you are hanging on, how frantic you’re being, and that all of these irrational behaviors were pushing a lot of people away.

The best description I can give is it feels like a bubble, at first. Your mind has slipped into a “denial” mode without you realizing it. You know you’re stressed, obviously, but you think you’re handling it. You continue to live in your world and act the way you think you normally do, but you’re not – you’re willingly turning a blind-eye to reality. Then, a trigger – a song, a photo, a feeling across the hairs on your neck – shatters everything.

And this is what happened to me.

I went through a rough few months. Graduation, an end of an important relationship, job prospects: I was fighting to hang on to everything I knew and everything I was instead of accepting the change and becoming the person I was supposed to become – an adult, dare I say. Graduation was looming over me, threatening to take away my college bliss; my relationship with someone I had strong feelings for disintegrated; jobs and the idea of moving away – all of these finally pushed me to a breaking point, where I wasn’t able to hold on to who and what I was anymore. The person I was, shattered.

But, now, seven months later, I’ve found a surface; a beginning of a new(er) person with different values and a different outlook. I’ve let go of the fact that I probably won’t be close with the same people I was close with in college. I loved someone enough to let go of an idea and future and instead be happy for the success and journey he is taking instead. I loved myself enough to let go of the past and dive in to something that I hadn’t yet experienced. And now, with baby steps, I’m making it.

The hardest thing I learned was to let go of grudges and things I couldn’t control.

It’s easy to say all of this now. Easy to sound wise and mature, once you’ve lived through the sloppy mess it actually was.

hindsight is 20/20.

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Reasons why your girlfriend steals your favorite jacket

~ Ariel West ~ 7 Comments

She’s at your house, and you are about to go out for a night on the town when you get the look.

No, not “the look,” but the look.

She waited for you to gather all of your things, waited to see which clothes you would pick out and what shoes you would wear; waiting for the opportune moment. You reach for a jacket and see her eyes widen right as your hand touches “the jacket.” Your favorite jacket. You wear it all the time. It’s warm, comfortable, fitting for chilly nights. It has the perfect cut off length and the white stripe down the sleeves.

Problem is… she likes it, too.

And she wants to wear it.

Why? The reasons aren’t that complicated.

1. It’s your favorite jacket.

She likes it because you like it. You wear it all the time. You probably met her while you were wearing it. It smells like you. When she sees the jacket, it’s a reminder of you, and that’s nice to have when you guys are apart.

2. It’s probably a little bit big for her.

She likes the way your jacket swallows her. She likes when the sleeves are too long for her hands to stick out. It’s roomy, comfortable and completes her messy look when she is not in the mood to dress up.

3. It lets other people know that she’s taken.

This probably doesn’t cross your mind, but some girlfriends are proud of their relationship status. She likes when people see her wearing your jacket because she likes being with you and is perfectly content with everyone knowing it. At the same time, it can send a message to other females that you are taken, as well. Territorial instict at its human finest.

4. She’s happier when she wears it.

If you are in a healthy relationship, she probably associates you with positive things in her life. The brain is wired to attach events to emotions, so you are probably associated with increased dopamine levels. People compliment her on her smile and her friends ask her why she seems so bubbly today. You can thank your jacket and science for that one.

So the next time you get annoyed when you are searching your closet for your favorite jacket and instead find her wearing it, think about the positive effects it has on her.

Science.